JC0B & 3DDIE LOV3 a n00b JXE parody
by karasaurx69
Summary: This is an intentionally n00by parody of JacobxEdward, just to make fun of all the horrible fanfiction out there.


**Disclaimer: No, I don't actually write like this, I'm just writing this to make fun of all the HORRIBLE fanfiction out there. We've **_**all**_** seen bad fanfiction.. so I hope you like it, review if you enjoyed it :D ****N00biness always makes me laugh.**

"Hay Jake wanna go hang out at the store with Embry!" Quil asked, starring at me with a hopeful face.

I sighed. No thanks I will just chill at home.

Quil pouted. "Come on jake ever since Bella jumped off the cliff you've been all emo"

BELLA. My heart broke at the name.

Ever since Bella is jumped off cliff the at La Push and died. I felt like a pat of me was lost 4eva. I lost my bellurz cuz she was sad that Eddie left her STUPID BLOODSUCKER!11!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! My hands bawled into fists.

"Look man I know you am pissed & angry. So how about we phase and go hunt and do manly things.?" Quil suggested.

I grinned. I dug that idea. "okay I said, I'll race u." I took off like bow from arrow into the forest., quil close behind.

I felt my skin burst in2 werewolf as I ran into the trees. Quil-werewolf caught up to me., with a grin.

"I heer some deer iver there." Quil said and set off w/o further ad0.

Getting pumped up, I chased him in2 more trees. I heard noises that were dear.

Wen I got closer. I saw werequil paused at a scene. His hair stood on end and ears back I was concern. I starred up 2 see Eddie Cullen staring back.

I growled loudly losing my temperrrr roar barring my teeth. Edward's gold eyes got wide and he lifted up his hands. I stormed at him, angry off.

'No jake don't do it" quil warned me w/his thots. Ignored I him and kept going in my rant. "You left Bella and made her kill herself u stupid vamp!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Ed's face crumpled. He picked it back up. And said. "Jacob plz listen 2 meh, I left bellur bcuz I, I am a dangerous vampire.

I stooped angering. "what" I thought knowing he would hear meh.

Ed seemed reliefed. "yes I thought I was too bad 4 her. I thought I put her under 2 much danga so I left her for her own good do you see??????////?"

EVERYTHING MADE SENSE I FELT THE WAVE OF understanding cover me UP. "so you did love her!111!! 4 realz!" I thought to him.

"Yup I did and I still do, jake" Eddie replied starring at me more.

"SO SHE DIED IN VANE…" I thought depressidly. A obese tear randomly rolled down my face. I turned away not wanting Eddie to m0ck meh………………………………………………

But Edward wuz very nice he came over and wrapped his arms around meh.

"Jacobbbb" he whispered, strocking my coat.

Why was I letting him do this why did I like it was I becoming his friend or something moar wait no I am Jacob I cannot be gay. I shook my wildly.

Eddie loked hurt. Jake???? He asked me looking sad.

I discovered I didn't like it wen he wuz sad which was weird I had always him hate. Now that I knew y he left Bellurz, all wuz ok somehow. My heart beet fast.

"I like u better as a people" Edward comented. "Much easier to talk."

W/o thinking; I phased back to human forgetting I would be Nakey.

Eddie swallowed eyes sumg my husky down body. Hi eye drifded to my pen0R. I pushed him back in2 the dirt. "Down boy" I said wit a husky wink.

"JACOB you tease wher r u cloths??!!" Eddie gasped at my husky hot body.

I grinned. 'wen I phased to wolf they exploded off. I guess ill haf 2 be nude…….." I trailed.

Ed grinned meh. "that wont be a prob im sick of bewbs anyways!1"

"Lulwut—" I started off but couldn't talk no more when eddie's lips hit myne. We kissed. Cold arms cuddled my happy husky hunky self.

I was happy kissing a boy but I am not gay NO WAY or am I. oh well. I kissed him harder forgetting about my nude self.

Eddie grinned "Oh Jake you're so husky 3"

"Ya Edward I lik u a lot 2" I grinned.

Edward squealed. "I LIK U 2 sooo much Jake even though ur pen0r is bigger than mine"

I giggled "Yaaaaa cuz I am a werewolf. I is superior." I said grinning climing on top of him and pinning his hands over his

**EDWARD'S POV34#5%%**

I starred in2 jake's husky eyes which had lust clouds in them I was therefore distracted. But when he clammed that werewolves vamps I WANTED 2 PROV HIM WRONG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"Oh yeah?" I said jokingly grinning and flipping him over so I was on top YEAH!!!!

"STUPId blood –" Jacob growled huskily but I cut him off w/my lips. Going more fiercely than b4 I pressed myself against him Oh my god am I gay a small part of me thought in surprise all of a sudden. No wait I am Edward I cannot be gay.

Howeva Jacob was havin fun………………. ;D

It took work 2 get him off though I was lovin' it. I prodded him off meh. "JAKE WaIT"

"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT" Jacob whined huskily in disapoointment.

"I been diggin u a lot jake even when I went out w/Bellur.." I told. He starred at me waiting!1!! "and I lik you and ur pen0r but its too early for further… k?"

Jacob sighed. "It k Eddie, I can wait 4 u." then he grinned with a husky face on. "Will yu be myne? 33"

I grinned "YES" then we kissed 4 wat felt like 4eva i really lik him I thought.

THE END11111!!1!1!1 RAINBOW PONIES!!!! HAHAHAHA1!121!! JACOB AND EDDIEEEEE LUVV 4EVA HEEHEEE HEEEE HEEEEEEE


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